Why can’t you see just how important you are to me?

When you say the word “friends” what comes to mind? If you’d consult a dictionary, it’d say “A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.”  despite that, I’d say a friend is someone whom you trust and have confidence in. Someone who understands you more than yourself.

People tend to think a guy and girl can’t become best friends because it’ll most probably end up into a romantic relationship but think again. Although it’d be great to fall in love with your guy best friend since it’d be cute and romantic and whatnot, there are times when falling in love with him isn’t the best option out there. Like say, he knows you all to well and it’ll just remove that sense of surprise with dates and everything or you wouldn’t feel like your actually dating because how you treat each other barely change.

I have this best friend (let’s call him Koi), a guy to be precise, whom I’ve known for the longest time. We met in our 1st grade but started off with the relationship of cats and dogs but after around year, we ended up being together almost all the time. We were always always together, to the point while growing up- our batch mates thought we liked each other or were dating so we always ended up denying it whenever somebody brought it up.

Though it may be true that Koi liked me in a romantic way during first grade, I never ever thought of him in the same way. Ever. I mean we were kids! We were naive, gullible and innocent. We’d make the smallest mistakes and cry over them. There was I time a tried liking him and if I’m not mistaken, it was during our 6th grade. I hopelessly liked this guy (let’s call him Combos) but ended up being made fun of, so another (girl) friend of mine suggested the “like-somebody-else-so-you-can-forget” method. I tried thinking of certain people and somehow, Koi came to mind. Anyway, that went on for almost a month but no matter how hard I try, I just couldn’t like him that way. All I could think of is that he’s my big brother and being together with him, romantically speaking, would feel like incest. Besides, he liked someone else at that time.

So the years pass by and here we are at the present. We’re still together and people STILL think we were or are dating and whatnot, and yes we- or rather I- still bother denying it. Of course my group of friends composed of him and a lot more grade school and freshmen year during high school pals. Despite being together, sometimes I feel like he’s drifting further away from me. He doesn’t trust me like he used to and tells his secrets to another friend of ours (whom he met through me during our grade school years). No matter how hard I try he wouldn’t budge and tell me.

Moving on, one of the bad habits of Koi is punching me. I mean not the fake punch on the shoulder but the literal manly punch. As kids, it was fine. It was normal for children to punch or kick each other but for crying out loud our bodies isn’t like how it used to be! If we were still kids, I’d be able to keep up but now? Does he seriously expect me to keep up with his puberty-affected body? He was always strong in the past and now he’s waaay stronger. What’s more? I’m the only person he does that to. Great, isn’t it? Another addition, his body was ALWAYS numb so he rarely felt any physical pain. So if ever you think of punching him, don’t forget to bring some bandage so you can mend your injuries after trying so much.

Setting that aside, we are currently in a fight. Why? It’s simple. I’m sick of him not treating me like a girl. I mean, I know we’re close and I’m currently overreacting and all but that doesn’t give him an excuse to actually hit me. What else? He does it just to grab my attention. Who in their right mind would actually punch a girl just to get her attention? A normal person would just give a tap on the shoulder or if it had to be a punch, it’d be that friendly punch on the shoulder! Not the full-strength-to-the-point-I’m-bruised type!

What else is there? Oooh that’s right! He thinks I take him for GRANTEDWho on Earth would put up with someone who punches them to the point that they’re bruised and take them for granted?! I greet him THREE times every year during his birthday while he almost FORGETS mine! It was MY idea to hang-out with him and another friend when they almost left the country to study abroad! I was ALWAYS there for him when he needed me the most! How on Earth did he come up with the idea that I don’t give a damn about him! He’s my best friend. He knows me better than I know myself. We were always together. So why can’t you see just how important you really are to me?

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
~Albert Camus

 

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